I've been here before

Numbness 

A word described by the Merriam Webster Dictionary as;

1 : unable to feel anything in a particular part

of your body especially as a result of cold or

anesthesia it was so cold that my fingers

went numb. 2 : unable to think, feel, or react

normally because of something that shocks

or upsets you : indifferent He stood there

numb with fear. numb. verb. numbed;

numbing.

Yet I feel it, or perhaps that's not the word for what I feel...

A debacle;

How does one describe a feeling of no feelings, how is this even right??

Perhaps I'm wrong, all I know is I've been here at this point too many times than I'd like

I try to fill myself with food, for perhaps its hunger, yet it doesn't satisfy the hunger I feel..

I seek out entertainment in its variety, nothing suffices

And I have been here many times wanting...but for what?

I seek counsel, I was told to talk to God, how do I do that? I thought.... I found out (this was a long and arduous endeavor)

I did all I was told...

For a time I suppose he spoke to me, still...that feeling is there

Perhaps I should seek its source, cut it off

What to do? 

Who can relate? Any pointers? Is it natural?

Maybe I'm supposed to feel this way, perhaps its the human way.